


we'll figure it out

by xiiis16



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Basically, M/M, and fluffy things, babysitting and a lot of baby issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 06:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1334884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiis16/pseuds/xiiis16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a clueless-about-babies Luke is left to babysit his little nephew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we'll figure it out

**Author's Note:**

> This is so overdue it's absolutely ridiculous. It also probably has a lot of mistakes and typos cause, you know, it's unbeta'd and I'm an idiot and English is not even my mother tongue. However, I really hope you enjoy it somehow +.+ and please let me know your opinion, either here or on my tumblr (whereshiphappens.tumblr.com), it means sooo much! I love you <3

* * *

 

 

 

“Hello?”

“ _Michael, I need your help_.”

Michael groaned as Luke’s alarming tone of voice sounded in his ears. He hadn’t even opened his eyes and he already wanted to go back to sleep. He looked over at the clock on his bedside table; it was almost three in the afternoon.

“What’s wrong?” he sighed, rubbing his eyes as he shifted around on his bed. He heard the sound of something shattering and Luke’s _fuck!_ followed by… a baby crying? “Luke?” he called, in a wary tone.

“ _My brother- shh, c’mon buddy, don’t cry – it’s my brother and sister-in-law’s anniversary and my parents are not back yet from their holidays and they left me to babysit my nephew_ _until my mom comes back, but she’s not coming back anytime soon but I couldn’t tell them that because it’s their anniversary and they had the hotel booked, I didn’t want to ruin it for them and I thought I could do this,”_ Luke blurted out in a distressed manner above the kid’s cries, “ _But I can’t,_ _I need help!_ ”

Michael could almost laugh at that. It was such a Luke think to do, stay awkwardly quiet to not ruin other people’s plans and ending up screw himself in the process. And now he was asking _Michael_ ’s help, of all people – was he serious? “What the f- and you call me?!” he said incredulous.

“ _Calum’s not here and I have no idea where Ashton is!_ ” Luke shrieked, clearly losing all his calm. “ _I need you to come over, I’m at my brother’s_ ,”

“Oh, my god, Luke, I don’t know how to take care of a baby, I’m an only fucking child, are you kidding me?” he replied, sitting up on the bed.

“ _What the hell am I supposed to do, then?!”_ the blond boy said, between his attempts to calm the little kid down.

“I don’t know, call Calum,” Michael said.

“ _What? Michael, you could just come over and help me figure it out!_ ”

“Fuck, no! Call Calum, he’ll know what to do,”

“ _No, wait, Mike, seriousl_ -“ he pressed the end call button and put his phone down, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He scrunched his face up, “fuck, I’m a terrible friend,” he mumbled to himself before he sighed, the guilt taking over him. He ran a hand through his hair, picked his phone up again and went through his contacts to find Ashton’s name.

 

~

 

“ _Jesus, calm the fuck down, Luke!_ ” Calum laughed as Luke completely lost his mind over the phone. It was easy for him to talk, he was god knows where with his sister chilling in the sun while Luke was here, having to take care of his baby nephew. Daniel could barely walk by himself, let alone tell Luke what was wrong, and nothing Luke did to calm him down was working and his head was pounding.

“I’m going crazy, I don’t know what to do,” Luke cried, holding Daniel in one arm, trying to rock him and calm his cries, but all the little kid did was trying to push Luke away screaming _no!_ and _cry, cry, cry_.

“ _Did you feed him properly?_ ” Calum asked. Luke rolled his eyes - he could slap him right now.

“Of course I fed him properly do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” he hissed gripping the phone tighter, angling the microphone to his mouth as he talked through gritted teeth.

“ _Hey! Don’t curse in front of the little guy!_ ” Calum replied with a fake indignant tone to his voice, the amusement so clear Luke actually groaned – his friends were _all_ idiots.

“Cal, this is not funny, I’m covered in baby food, Danny’s covered in baby food, the damned kitchen is a mess, he broke two vases not to mention the plates and cups that are still shattered on the floor, he won’t play with his toys in which I tripped like ten times in the past ten minutes and he keeps hitting me when I hold him and crying like someone hit _him_!” Luke said absolutely exasperated at this point as the little kid tried to squirm out of his arms, kicking his abdomen rather hard and making Luke cry out.

“ _Maybe you should call your mom_ ,” Calum said. Luke groaned, defeated, “I don’t wanna ruin my parents’ vacations, Cal. This is ridiculous,” he mumbled in a suddenly tired voice, closing his eyes as his headache seemed to only get worse, “I can tour half the world but I can’t take care of a one and a half year old kid.”

“ _Well, to be fair, you do have your own babysitter when you tour half the world, so_ ,” Calum teased on the other side of the line, the smile evident on his voice. “Shut up,” he said. As Daniel’s tiny hands found their way to Luke’s ears, pulling as he sobbed for his freedom, the doorbell rang and Luke groaned, making his way out of the kitchen to answer it. _What a great fucking timing_.

“Hold on a sec, there’s someone at the door,” Luke said as he used his shoulder to hold his phone against his ear and open the door. He felt a weight being lifted off his chest and he could almost laugh in relief as Ashton’s dimpled smile appeared behind the door.

“Oh, my God, thank fuck you’re here!” Luke exclaimed, jerking his arm unintentionally and making Daniel’s cries worse as he wrapped his arms around Luke’s neck, facing the corridor and trying to use his feet to get out of Luke’s hold.

“ _Lucas what did I tell you about swear words in front of the kid?_ ” said Calum, to which Luke replied with “Shut up, Cal, Ashton’s here, I gotta go. Thanks for the help though.” And Calum laughed on the other side, “ _No problem_ ,” he said sarcastically.

“Hey,” Ashton said, making his way in and taking the strap of his backpack off his shoulder, letting it slid to the ground, “I see you got your hands full over there, “he continued, smiling as he took in the desperate mess that was Luke right now trying to balance his crying nephew in his arm as he put his phone away.

“Yeah, some help would be appreciated,” Luke said pleadingly. Ashton smiled and turned at Daniel. “What’s wrong?” Ashton said.

“I don’t know, he won’t stop crying, Ash, I don’t know what to do,” Luke whined.

“Let me try and figure it out,” Ashton said. “Hi Danny,” he said in a soft tone, walking behind Luke’s shoulder to face the little boy. Luke frowned; what the hell was he gonna do, ask the kid what was wrong? Daniel’s sobs didn’t stop, but Ashton got his attention and the screaming at least ceased for a while. “Wanna get away from Uncle Luke?” he said still in that sort of childish tone of voice that somehow was soothing the little kid, as well as the smile on his face.

Luke arched his brow turning his face at his little nephew as he eyed Ashton curiously, a pout on his face as if he understood and was considering Ashton’s offer. The older boy outstretched his hands, making grabby motions to incite the little kid to come with him and reluctantly, Daniel inclined his body towards him. Luke let him go curious as well, as the little boy wrapped his arms around Ashton, trying to use his feet against Ashton’s torso to arch his bottom away from the arm with which Ashton was holding him.

“He keeps doing that,” Luke said as Ashton brought the little kid closer, an arm around his legs supporting his bottom and the sobbing started.

“ _Oh_ ,” Ashton said in a knowing matter, as if he’d just figured out what was wrong. Wrapping his arms around the little kid’s middle and using his other hand to turn him around and bring him up, Ashton sniffed Daniel’s diaper, pulling a face almost automatically. He smiled at Luke though, shaking his head in amusement, “you’re an idiot, Lucas,” he said and he turned around making his way towards the nursery.

“What?” Luke said a bit lost as he followed Ashton up the stairs,” What did I do wrong?”

“When Michael called me, he said you sounded like something serious had happened, and you were in trouble cause you didn’t know what to do,” Ashton continued as he laid Daniel down on the padded tall table by the crib, proceeding to undo the bottom of his onesie with skilled fingers that Luke watched attentively. “Not that you couldn’t change a diaper to save your life,” he finished as he revealed the dirty diaper looking at Luke with an amused look on this face.

“Oh, my god, that smells terrible,” he said pulling a face. “Is this why he wouldn’t stop crying?” he said incredulously – it sounded so simple now.

“Yeah, well, you’d cry too if you had someone constantly pushing your bum against a dirty diaper for that long,” Ashton said, proceeding to clean the kid up. “It’s really uncomfortable for them, not to mention the fact that it can cause a nappy rash if it stays like that for too long,” the older boy continued, speaking to a very impressed Luke that watched his every move. “He was very right to cry; it isn’t your fault Uncle Luke is this uncultured when it comes to babies, now, is it, little guy?” Ashton said, speaking to the little kid in that funny voice again. Daniel was calm now, moving his little legs and trying to grab every single thing within his reach, but without crying or screaming, instead babbling random sounds and reacting to Ashton’s voice.

It was ridiculous. Luke actually laughed this time; god he was _so grateful_ for Ashton right now.

“How do you know so much about babies, anyway?” Luke said, watching mesmerized as Ashton pulled Daniel up again and the little kid tried to reach for the bandana on Ashton’s head without any resistance to being held. It was truly relieving not having the piercing cries echoing through his already pounding head and just for that he wanted to put Ashton on a pedestal and worship him forever.

“Uhh, I have two young siblings?” Ashton reminded him, taking Danny’s little hands from his hair when he tried to pull it. He looked at the little kid with a fond smile and Daniel was babbling again as he motioned for the toys on the floor. “You wanna play? Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Ashton said as he let the little kid down to awkwardly walk towards his toys, a hand gripping Ashton’s fingers.

“I’ll keep him busy, you go,” the older boy said to Luke with a smile on his face gesturing towards the door as he sat down on the floor next to Daniel and his toys. Luke’s been covered in food for almost two hours now, he was a complete mess; he felt terribly dirty and he stunk. He was so, _so_ grateful for his friend right now. Ashton really was amazing.

“Thank you _so much_ , Ash,” he mumbled reaching the door, feeling this huge wave of fondness when he heard his little nephew laughing as he played with Ashton, who winked at him. “ _Ashhhhh_ ,” Daniel tried to imitate in his mumbling, pushing one of his toys against Ashton’s chest. Luke chuckled as he gripped the door frame looking at both of them, and a huge smile broke on Ashton’s face as he turned to Daniel to say “Yeeeey, that’s me!” in a surprised childish way accompanied by a giggle that had Daniel laughing back at him and flailing his arms excitedly in being acknowledged like this.

A warmth invaded Luke’s chest so suddenly he couldn’t react for a bit, just watching, slightly captivated by the way Ashton was winning over his little nephew with nothing more than his charming self. He did that a lot of times, Luke noticed as he finally shook himself out of his reverie and moved upstairs to his room to take a quick shower. He was always so comfortable in situations that left Luke shaking with nerves and making a fool out of himself; Ashton wasn’t like that, though. He owned every situation whether he was comfortable or not and it was mesmerizing.  Ashton was quite mesmerizing.

Luke was still smiling with the image of Ashton playing on the floor with Danny and making a fool out of himself – he was never afraid of looking weird.

After his shower, he searched his brother’s drawers for sweatpants and a tank top getting dressed quickly to head down to the kitchen and clean up the mess his nephew created in his tantrum. He could still hear the kid’s laughs and giggles from his nursery upstairs as well as Ashton’s voice encouraging him.

Paying attention to his voice as he cleaned the kitchen, Luke found himself laughing as he realized Ashton was actually attempting to keep a conversation with Daniel with nothing other than the kid’s mumbling as an answer. _Maybe that’s the secret_ , Luke found himself thinking as he giggled.

Once again he reflected on his friend’s kindness, thinking to himself how if this was any other person, they wouldn’t have ditched their own plans to spend the day watching over a baby. But this was Ashton and he was great – he pretty much left everything he was doing to help Luke and that was so… _sweet_.

More than that, he was so pleased that the older boy was here – he hadn’t seen him much since the tour ended and he kind of missed waking up and see the boys every day as well as hang out with them all day.

“Hey, Luke?” he heard Ashton call from the other room. He immediately closed the cabinet where he was storing the clean cups, “Yeah?” he called back, moving up the stairs towards the nursery. Danny was still playing with his toys, now more focused instead of just throwing them all over the place and Ashton was holding his phone in his hand; he looked up at Luke when the younger boy appeared at the door.

“I need to make a call,” Ashton said gesturing at his phone, he was biting his lip, speaking apprehensively, “I’m supposed to meet up with _a friend_ , and uhh,” he dragged out.

“Oh,” Luke found himself mumbling. It was the way Ashton said the word _friend_ that surprised him – he didn’t know Ashton had _a friend._ Ashton? Of all people? It wasn’t like him – he was a serious relationship kind of guy and… maybe Luke was getting ahead of himself, he thought.

Luke wasn’t exactly sure he was allowed to have an opinion about it; it’d be rather hypocritical because, well, Luke used to have… _friends_ as well and none of the boys ever said anything about it (even though sometimes he saw the way Ashton rolled his eyes when his friends were around). Still, it wasn’t like Ashton at all and of all days he had free, did she really need to pick exactly this day to hang out with him? Yeah, well, it wasn’t like Luke booked him before hand or anything, this was totally unplanned, but he’s here now do maybe she could fuck off and leave Ashton be with Luke. And Daniel. Of course.

So what now, was he going to leave? “You can go if you want to,” Luke offered. It wasn’t very sincere though – he didn’t want Ashton to go, he wanted him to stay here, and his tone of voice was rather cold.

“Are you sure?” Ashton said with laughter teasing his tone. _No_ , Luke thought, “Yes,” he said shrugging. It was a bit of a pride thing now, with the way Ashton had said it, like he doubted Luke was capable of dealing this himself (he probably wasn’t). He was going to be fine; Ashton could go meet his _friend_ all he wanted, Luke wanted to say, a bitter taste on his mouth as he held the words back.

“Alright,” Ashton said, getting up. Luke raised his eyebrows – was he actually going to go? He wanted him to stay, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud without sounding stupid at his own ears. This was such a typical thing for him, stay quiet and screw himself in the process – he had no idea what possessed him, because he could just be sincere with Ashton, but his ego was somehow wounded because Ashton would rather be with a random friend than with Luke, even though they hadn’t seen each other in more than a week and a half and he’s probably already had been all this time with her.

It didn’t make much sense and Luke knew that, but out of his bandmates Ashton was always the one he saw the least when they weren’t on tour with the band and- he missed him, he really did. He missed him so much and it was like Ashton wasn’t as easy to reach out as Calum or Michael – he felt stupid having to ask Ashton to give him attention, he felt clingy and spoiled and he didn’t like it and _why was it so hard with Ashton?_

The older boy was talking but Luke wasn’t paying attention, only when he saw him looking at him expectantly did he realize he was waiting for an answer, “Okay?” he repeated.

“Yes, okay,” Luke said, even though he didn’t hear the question.

“Luke, are you sure-“Ashton started again, but Luke interrupted, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you for coming over.” He didn’t mean for it to sound as nonchalant as it did, he really meant it, he appreciated Ashton so much; but he couldn’t help the bitter feeling on the pit of his stomach.

“Okay,” Ashton said reluctantly as he waved goodbye to a very focused Daniel and moved down the stairs to make his way out, “Call me if you need anything okay?” Ashton said looking up from the bottom of the stairs. Luke didn’t say anything, only nodded smiling faintly as he leaned against the door frame to the nursery at the top of the stairs.

Then Ashton left. Luke sighed deeply, letting his arms fall in defeat as he looked at his little nephew that was eyeing his toys with indifference now. The little kid tried to stand up but failed, which made him cry out in frustration.

“Hey little man, don’t cry,” Luke said as he approached Daniel, helping him stand up and holding his hand to help him walk. Daniel protested though saying “no” multiples times as he tried to yank his hand from Luke’s and the blond boy sighed. Of course Daniel would start giving him trouble when Ashton was gone – it was like the little kid was mocking him or something. “No, Danny, with my hand only,” Luke said, gripping his hand steady. It only made him cry.

Luke closed his eyes for a bit, sitting down on the floor next to his nephew, “Why do you have to make my life so difficult, little man, please don’t make me swallow my pride and call him again,” he said to the little boy, gesturing towards the door, “You were so nice with Ash,“ he added.

“ _Ashhhh_ ,” he repeated, poking Luke’s cheek and scrunching his face up as he spoke, showing his little front teeth and looking absolutely adorable. Luke couldn’t help but smile as well, “Yes, Ash. I know he’s nice and cute and,” he trailed off a little bit, “Charming and really adorable with that stupid school girl giggle of his, and sparkly eyes that look right out of an anime,” he added. He shook his head clear, before he continued, “and Uncle Luke is not, but, c’mon kiddo, gimme a chance, yeah?” he said, rocking the little boy on his arms in an awkward hug.

“Let’s watch some TV, okay?” he said, getting up and lifting the little boy in his arms. Daniel wrapped his hands around Luke’s neck as the blond boy moved towards the living room downstairs, turning the TV on to watch cartoons.

However, the second he sat down, Daniel protested, wanting to get out of Luke’s grasp and stand up instead, screaming at the top of his lungs when Luke held him tighter. He scrunched his face up groaning because, honestly, he was so terrible at this, he had no idea how Ashton did it.

To be completely honest with himself, Luke had no idea how Ashton did a lot of things or how he managed to affect people the way he did.

He got up again, trying to make the little kid shut up, even saying _please_ and _I beg of you Danny_ , _please don’t cry_. But naturally, because Luke didn’t have Ashton’s natural charm, the little kid kept screaming, shaking his head with his eyes dropping as he bumped his head against Luke’s jaw in his tantrum, making him cry out – he could swear he heard his lip piercing click open.

This was so tiring, Luke was once again feeling so frustrated because Ashton bailed on him to meet some girl and there was this stupid feeling on his chest, clawing at his heart and his nephew wouldn’t shut up or make his life easy and in a sudden fleeting moment, Luke almost laughed out loud because, wow, wasn’t this just a great metaphor for how much Luke wanted – no, _needed_ Ashton?

The strange thought didn’t even have time to set properly on his mind when the doorbell rang again and Luke felt a mix of emotions – hope it would be Ashton and fear it would be Ashton. He didn’t want to swallow his pride; he would look so stupid now. But he needed Ashton’s help. (Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice whispered, _and I don’t want him to go meet some random hook up,_ and he vehemently ignored it). He moved to the door, yanking it open and Ashton was there, “I forgot my,” he blurted out, slowing down as he took Luke’s expression in, the words dying out, “bag.”

Daniel was still crying, his tiny hands grabbing Luke’s shirt, his head falling on Luke’s shoulder as he twisted the fabric. Ashton’s expression softened when Luke sighed in defeat – god he was so terrible with kids.

“You didn’t hear a word I said before leaving, did you?” Ashton said, this sort of amused smile wanting to crawl to his lips, and Luke felt his cheeks burn and he diverted his eyes from Ashton’s.

“I was distracted,” he mumbled.

Ashton chuckled, “Oh, Lukey,” he said in such a fond manner it made Luke look up at him an embarrassed smile curling the corners of his lips. Did this mean he was going to stay with him?

“ _Woo-ki”_ Daniel echoed, as his hands suddenly grabbed Luke’s lip ring, pulling. Luke hissed and cried out as he felt the point of it scratch his skin and coming out in Daniel’s hands – he was right before, it did click open.

Ashton was quick to stop the little kid’s hands on his way to bring the piercing to his own mouth, covering his hands and taking it out of his grasp, “Ouch, are you okay?” he said as Luke winced nodding nonetheless. “I think my nephew hates me,” Luke said defeated, “that’s the only explanation for all this, he wasn’t like this with you, I don’t understand.”

Ashton smiled as he closed the door behind him, “Or maybe he’s just tired from all the playing and needs to sleep,” he stated, “you’d know that if you had heard me.”

And again, Luke felt like a complete idiot. He could just punch himself, “fuck, I can’t do anything right.”

“Of course you can,” Ashton said as he directed Luke towards the nursery again, climbing the stairs behind him, a hand on the small of Luke’s back. For some reason, Luke felt extremely aware of that hand.

“He’s really sleepy, that’s why he’s like that – babies kinda get frustrated with sleep,” Ashton said. Luke scoffed, “I can relate to that,” he mumbled as he watched Ashton moving around the room, getting a chuckle out of the other boy as he started shutting the blinds and darkening the room. “Firstly, you’ve got to calm him down,” Ashton said as he closed the door, eyeing the night lamp on the nightstand. “If you darken the room and talk really quietly, it helps,” Ashton whispered as he turned the lamp on. Immediately thousands of little stars were projected on the walls and ceiling in a comforting and pale yellow light, spinning slowly.

On Luke’s arms, Daniel let his head fall on his shoulder as his sobs calmed a little bit as well as his movements. Luke’s eyes were following Ashton’s every move and again, he was captivated by Ashton’s knowledge and at ease. Finding himself captivated by Ashton seemed to be happening a lot lately, Luke noticed, unable to take his eyes off of him as he older boy turned to them, the little stars dancing on his face as he approach them.

“Now what?” Luke whispered, his voice shaking unintentionally waiting for Ashton’s guidance as he older stopped in front of them. It was easy taking directions from Ashton – he always seemed to know what to do, to have everything under control. So Luke waited as Ashton seemed to be thinking about it for just a little bit. He smiled softly again, “sing to him,” he mumbled simply. Luke raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“You think that’ll work?” Luke asked, rather skeptically, feeling nervous for some reason.

“Yeah,” Ashton said, not missing a beat, “He just needs help falling asleep. Your voice is so soothing and he’s against your chest, the vibrations will lull him as well,” he added with a smile, looking between the little boy and Luke. The blond boy felt a warmth spread in his chest at his friend’s words, not even realizing he was staring at him, smiling. He took his eyes off him for just a moment, shaking his head and laughing rather disbelieving. Ashton seemed to notice – after all this time, Luke still didn’t know exactly how to deal with compliments.

“Lying on your chest feeling the vibrations of your voice as you sing would totally lull _me_ to sleep,” Ashton muttered in an attempt to make his point – Luke was amazing and total capable of handling this. Luke’s gaze snapped back up to meet Ashton’s and only then did the other boy seemed to realize the connotation of his words – for some reason, they had Luke’s heart missing a beat.

“Oh, I mean,” Ashton started, a blush tinting his cheeks. He laughed nervously and quietly, and normally that would be enough for Luke to dismiss it as a joke or something.

But not this time. Not when they were in this dark room, little starts floating around them as they talked in whispers and tried to put a baby to sleep – there was something oddly intimate and domestic about this whole scene and Luke couldn’t bring himself to laugh along with Ashton and laugh this off because there was this feeling in his belly suddenly, and he was so glad Ashton was here with him and not somewhere else with that friend of his.

As he saw Luke stare at him, Ashton stopped laughing and for a moment they just looked at each other in silence; the air was charged with something and neither of them was moving. It was rather strange; standing there in the semi darkness this _moment_ between them didn’t feel quite real.

It was Daniel shuffling and little cries that brought them back. Ashton cleared his throat and Luke started rocking the little kid in his arms thinking of a song to sing. Looking at the little starts projected on the wall, a song came to his mind and tentatively he started whispering in Daniel’s ear in a soft manner, “ _Look at the stars, look how they shine for you._ ”

Ashton found himself smiling at his choice of song, watching attentively as Luke rocked Daniel softly as he sang. Luke was so concentrated in this, so focused on his little nephew it was heartwarming.

Ashton took Luke’s hand then, the one resting on the little kid’s back and brought it up slowly under the attentive gaze of Luke, feeling a smile curl his lips. He placed Luke’s hand on the back of Daniel’s head, “let your hand fall there without gripping tight,” Ashton mumbled, his hand still on top of Luke’s as the younger boy swayed just slightly, still singing, “it’s comforting,” Ashton added, brushing his thumb on top of Luke’s hand before letting go.

He looked at the little kid then, head on Luke’s shoulder and eyes already closed as he brought his thumb up to his mouth, sucking on it softly.

“Is it working?” Luke whispered. Ashton nodded, smiling, “keep singing and move around the room, maybe,” he suggested. Luke did as Ashton told him, as the older boy moved to Daniel’s crib, pushing the blankets back. He was about to tell Luke to lay Daniel in his arms instead of letting him sleep on his shoulder when he turned around, finding Luke with sleeping Daniel already in his arms, head against his chest, thumb still in his ajar mouth, even though he wasn’t sucking on it anymore.

The image was absolutely adorable – Luke was so concentrated on the baby, singing to him and rocking him in his arms he didn’t notice how Ashton’s expression softened once again as he felt his heart take a little leap in his chest and he smiled before he realized he was even doing it.

“Come lay him down,” Ashton said as he moved out of the way.

As he lied the little boy down, Luke could feel his heart racing on his chest and he held his breath, hoping he wouldn’t mess this up, hoping he would stay asleep and he wouldn’t look like a total idiot in front of Ashton yet again. Also, the prospect of getting to rest a little bit after this crazy morning and afternoon and just enjoy Ashton’s company for a little bit alone was sounding like a little bit of heaven.

Down in his crib, Daniel shuffled a bit as Luke pushed his covers up, sucking a little bit more on his thumb but his eyes didn’t open and soon enough he was still again. The relieve that took over Luke was so immediate he could jump, or scream or something because _my god, yes_ , he did it, he managed to put Daniel to sleep without messing it up and he was finally going to get a proper break after being up since 7 in the morning and, and-

He looked over at Ashton who was smiling, clearly amused with Luke’s sudden burst of joy, his heart swelling with warmth and this extreme fondness towards the older boy. He felt so happy Ashton was here to help, he was so grateful to have him here he couldn’t even describe it or find a way to make him understand, it was like his brain was at a total loss of ways to transmit what he was feeling and he wanted to let him know so much. So he didn’t even register properly as his own hands fell on Ashton’s face and he pulled him closer so suddenly the older boy bumped into his chest just as Luke crashed his lips against Ashton’s.

Then a moment after all the alarms seemed to go off in his head and he realized that he was _fucking kissing Ashton._

Luke pulled away wide eyed, meeting an equally as shocked Ashton, mouth ajar struggling to find the words to say, “Oh wow, sorry, I have no idea where that came from – I-I’m… really sorry?” Luke stuttered in a low voice, feeling his whole face burning up. He could see the pink coloring Ashton’s cheeks as well as he moved his gaze to the floor, chuckling nervously.

“Uhm, it’s… it’s okay?” he said, equally uncertain at his words. Well, this was… _something_.

For a moment they just stood there awkwardly and Luke bit his lip because it didn’t quite feel like it was okay – they were tense around each other. Maybe it was the setup, maybe it was because they were in such a domestic and intimate situation and they were whispering and it was dark and everyone knows that in the dark things get weirder and…

He was overthinking this, wasn’t he?

“I have your lip ring here,” Ashton said, holding it up to Luke shyly.

“Right,” Luke mumbled. Suddenly this weird feeling took over him; he kissed Ashton, it was done and… well, it couldn’t be taken back now so why not… why not…

Before he could think, he let the warm feeling inside his chest take over and said, “Can you help me put it on?”

Ashton seemed startled by that and reflectively he licked his lips, still feeling the tingling from Luke’s own. He had literally no idea how to feel about this whole thing – honestly if it was any other one of the boys he would’ve brush it off, especially Calum, because it was just their thing invading your personal space and randomly groping you and try to dry hump you in the middle of twitcams because is there a more inappropriate time?

But not Luke, though. Luke sought the cuddles and hugs and sometimes attacked you with his bear hugs, but he was never like this. So it leaves Ashton so confused and overwhelmed and his whole body was tingling at this point because this wasn’t something Luke would do randomly, he thought – maybe he meant to do it; maybe it meant something.

He stepped closer to him, swallowing hard as he invaded Luke’s personal space and brought his hands up to his jaw, stilling him in place as he worked on putting Luke’s lip ring back on. The illumination wasn’t great, but with slightly shaky hands and hyper aware of Luke’s eyes on his face, Ashton managed to put it back. Then it was only when he was about to step back that he felt Luke’s hands press tighter against each side on his back.

Glancing up, Ashton met Luke’s eyes staring back at him. His mouth parted just slightly and he felt his breath ghosting over his face, only then realizing how close he was to the younger boy. His hands fell on Luke’s shoulders, and maybe he wanted to pull him back slightly, reestablish his personal space but before he knew what was happening, Luke was mumbling, “Fuck, I’m really, _really_ sorry,” and his hands were coming up to cup his face making Ashton gasp right before Luke’s lips collided with his sucking the air in between, and sealing them firmly.

White noise filled Ashton’s ears for the brief second it took his brain to process what was happening. Then, all the bells went off in his head because Luke was kissing him _again_ , and he couldn’t understand _why_.

But even harder to understand was the sudden fuzziness in his tummy, and the warm feeling taking over his chest; as he felt Luke’s hands gripping him tighter, pulling Ashton against his chest, and his tongue licked at Ashton’s bottom lip, it all seemed to erupt into a frenzy of flying creatures batting their wings and making him feel so fucking weird.

He pulled back rather breathless, hands on Luke’s chest and he stared wide eyed at the younger boy, eyebrows high on his forehead, mouth ajar without knowing what to say – or how to feel about it.

“Fuck, Luke,” he mumbled in an incredulous manner and Luke bit his lip, eyes still on Ashton’s mouth and eyebrows drawing closer up in his forehead as he groaned rather hopelessly.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated as once again he dove right in, catching Ashton’s mouth with his own and it was like he just couldn’t help himself, like some greater force was compelling him towards Ashton’s lips.

Luke couldn’t possibly find a good reason to explain why he felt the need to do it. But feeling the tingling in his lips as he felt Ashton’s lips against his and the thrilling electricity cursing through his veins as he moved his mouth in sync with the older boy’s was reason enough for him – at least for right now. “I’m so sorry,” the blond repeated once again.

“Luke, what are we doing?” Ashton whispered against Luke’s lips after the kiss was broken, not letting go this time and gripping Luke’s shirt close.

“I don’t know,” Luke mumbled, hands pulling Ashton closer by the waist, making him arch his back to keep the distance and Luke to angle his face, turning it to the side to reclaim his mouth. Logical explanations didn’t really matter now, did they? It was done – they were in this dark nursery, Luke’s nephew was feet away from them finally sleeping peacefully, and they were kissing with spinning stars illuminating them like they were a recently married couple who just had their first kid and hadn’t had a moment alone in ages. It was fucking mental and so domestic Ashton felt his heart warm up. “Do you want me to stop?” Luke inquired, bringing his hand up to cup Ashton’s face again thumb running softly on his jaw and a sudden urgent look on his face.

The older boy shook his head, arms wrapping around Luke’s neck as the blond let out a shaky breath and reached down for the back of Ashton’s knees to pick him up and wrap his legs around his waist, driven by a sudden hunger of having Ashton _closer_.

He walked over to the set of drawers by the wall near the closet and the single bed meant for when Danny’s older, pushing the frames and other decorative things out of the way, before letting Ashton sit on it, hands falling by Ashton’s sides and running down his leg, pushing it around his waist still to keep him close.

A jolt of pure fire ran through Ashton’s body when he pulled apart to look at the younger boy that now had to look up at him from this position and his hands fell on each side of his face, caressing his jaw and the little scruff there tickling his fingers. This was definitely the most spontaneous thing Ashton has ever done and, all possible complications aside, all his mind could focus on was how _fucking_ _exciting_ this felt.

He smiled down at Luke right before he dived down for his mouth again and Luke almost moaned at his eagerness and god, he was so glad Ashton came back, he was so glad he hadn’t gone meet someone else. And he must have said it out loud because Ashton was nodding as he pecked his lips multiple times mumbling, “yeah,” a pause to breathe, then, “I know, I know, me too.”

Luke’s hands were making his way up his shirt and Ashton felt his whole body shivering with his contact, arching closer towards him, legs wrapping tighter around the younger boy.

“Who was she?” Luke asked, as he broke the kiss, looking straight into Ashton’s dazed hazel eyes. He was lost for a second, looking back at Luke with a confused frown that the weak light from the spinning stars barely illuminated, “what?” he breathed.

“Who was this _friend_ you were going to meet?” Luke whispered, hands curling around Ashton’s hips possessively pulling him towards himself. It took him a moment, but then he realized that, whether he was fully aware of it or not, the jealousy in Luke’s voice was obvious and it had him smiling. “You were jealous,” he said.

Ashton’s smile faltered a little as he looked down at the pink colour of Luke’s cheeks and how he was adverting his eyes from Ashton. He _was_ jealous. What did this mean, why would he be jealous? Did he- did he have feelings for Ashton?

He was distracted by Luke’s hands stopping on the small of his back, pushing him of the edge of the drawers’ set and picking him up again, “I wasn’t jealous,” Luke mumbled before he kissed him again.

Before he knew what was happening, Ashton felt himself being lain on the bed, all the stuffed animals and other toys being pushed to the ground by an impatient Luke. “Then why do you care?” Ashton pressed as Luke’s lips traveled down his neck instead. He wasn’t convinced, there was more to this; there was more to this that was going on – and maybe Luke was just as confused as Ashton. Maybe he had no idea if he actually felt something else for Ashton. The blond stopped, groaning and looking up at Ashton again. He messed _this_ up, didn’t he? “Just,” he started, trailing off as he examined Ashton’s features – it felt like looking at him for the first time, _properly_. “Just forget about it,” he said.

But, actually, Ashton couldn’t because there was something wrong with that tone; there was something wrong and he could see right through Luke.

“Luke, wait,” he mumbled, pushing the younger boy away with hands pushing at his chest. But Luke resisted, grabbing them in his and taking them off his chest. He didn’t want this to end, _no, no_ , he messed it up with his stupid questions, _no, don’t pull away, don’t stop us._ “Luke, stop,” Ashton said a little louder still pushing him, but Luke’s movements were so urgent, it was like he had finally found something he was looking for and didn’t even know until now how vital it was, and someone was trying to take it away from him again. “Lucas!” Ashton called again.

They could talk later if they had to; they could come to the inevitable conclusion that this was something hormone driven, later. Ashton could be the older, responsible one and say this was a mistake, later, but not now. It was too soon to take it away from Luke, it was too soon to stop.

_Please no, don’t stop, I want this so much now._

And then occurred to him that, even though he wanted this so damn much, maybe Ashton didn’t – and that stopped him, suddenly.

He looked down at Ashton’s hazel eyes and saw the confusion in them as his hands fell limp by both sides of his head. Luke felt frustrated – why did Ashton have to look for the logical explanation for this? Why couldn’t he let himself go? Why did he had to make Luke think about it and acknowledge the jealousy that consumed him when Ashton wanted to leave him, or the flutter in his heart when his arms fell around Luke’s neck and pulled him closer when he kissed him?

It was overwhelming – it made the possibility that maybe Luke’s constant missing Ashton wasn’t affected by the time they spent or not together. Maybe he just missed him because he craved his presence all the time in the first place. Maybe it was because he didn’t see Ashton like he saw Michael or Calum.

Luke had no idea if his internal battle showed on his face, but he saw Ashton’s brows furrowing and he opened his mouth, mumbling, “What is it?” with a soothing, curious voice, and the question felt odd to Luke, but most of all accurate, like Ashton knew exactly his train of thought. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Lukey,” he added.

He closed his eyes letting his head fall on the curve of Ashton’s shoulder, “I don’t know, I’m really-“ he trailed off sighing, wincing at how stupid he was sounding right now, “I’m really confused right now.” He dared opening his eyes and turn his head to look at Ashton and the older boy was staring at the ceiling.

“What’s confusing you? This?” Ashton mumbled. Luke waited a few beats to answer and before he could, Ashton was adding, “or is it what you’re feeling?”

It threw Luke off for just a bit. He had no idea what he was feeling, he had no idea that he would be feeling in the first place – this wasn’t planed and being this close to Ashton, this intimate should feel weird but it doesn’t and it confuses him so much because _where_ does it come from? Why was he all of a sudden wanting to kiss Ashton all the time and just touch him?

That first kiss, that stupid, unadvised kiss was like accidentally kicking a hole in a wall in an act driven by pure feeling and not enough thinking and finding out a whole new place standing on the other side – one you had no idea it existed in the first place, because that wall wasn’t supposed to be kicked, and now all you want is to explore that place.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling in the first place, it’s so complicated,” Luke whispered honestly.

And Ashton, sweet caring Ashton, like always, said “I can help you. I can make it simple. ” He brought his hand to Luke’s face and guided him towards his lips, kissing him gently, thumb running gently over his cheek. When he pulled back, he didn’t take his hand away, “What did that feel like?” he breathed, licking his lips, “Good or bad?” Luke didn’t even bat an eye. “Good.”

The older boy smiled gently, “what’s confusing about it, then?” he simply said. And Luke couldn’t help but smile as well, staring at Ashton for a couple of seconds before he kissed him again, calmer this time, working his lips over Ashton’s, making him open up for him to explore his mouth, make sure he’d remember his taste.

“I don’t know where this comes from, honestly,” Luke whispered against Ashton’s parted mouth, and Ashton can relate – but he’s not an over thinker; he doesn’t think half as much as he feels these things. “We’ll figure it out,” he said before pushing at Luke’s shoulder, turning him onto his back and climbing partially on top of him, hand on his neck to lead his lips towards his.

A weight was lifted off Luke’s chest when Ashton kept on kissing him lazily, experimentally, like he was getting the feel of him, curiously turning his head changing angles, kissing him lightly with a hand on his chest and then, taking a look at him like he’s having an epiphany, he kisses him more intensely, he deepens the kisses automatically, open mouth chasing Luke’s, eager tongue playing with his, heavy breaths in between, hips moving irrationally before they can stop themselves.

“Luke,” Ashton called after a while, breaking the kiss and surfacing taking deep breaths. He was panting as Luke attacked his neck, a hand on his hair while the other ran down his sides, “Luke, we should slow down,” he said. Luke groaned still kissing down his neck – he knows Ashton’s right. His lips were already swollen and his jaw hurt, but Luke honestly didn’t care, he wanted to keep kissing Ashton forever, keep feeling his body on top of his.

“ _Lucas_ ,” Ashton whispered. And this time, Luke whined, pulling back. Like his, Ashton’s lips were red and swollen and he looked so soft in his light, his hair slightly disheveled from their making out session – he looked amazing.

“We should’ve done this earlier,” Luke said as he laid back, with Ashton letting his head fall on his shoulder. He older boy chuckles lightly, “I’ve thought about it,” he admits lowly, not meeting Luke’s eyes. It lit something inside Luke’s chest, “really?” he said and Ashton nodded.

Luke smiled in the partial darkness of the nursery; well, he had no idea how things were going to go from now on – he had no idea if things even needed to go anywhere and not just stay here between them in the darkness. He wasn’t too worried about it, though, because Ashton was lying on the crook of his shoulder and his fingers were playing with Luke’s shirt and his weight was the most reassuring thing he’d felt in a while.

Slowly, the coziness of this was getting to him and he felt his eyes drop, “’m so tired,” he mumbled. Ashton brought his hand up, and let his fingers trail lightly over Luke’s forehead, down the bridge of his nose and to his lips, “sleep then,” he says. When he feels Luke’s pout and his hand curling around his middle, he adds, “I’m not going anywhere, Lukey.”

Closing his eyes, Luke let himself be lulled by Ashton’s caresses and the soft vibrations of his chest against his as the older boy softly mumbled a song. _He was right_ , was what Luke thought as Ashton’s voice and soft touches made him feel even drowsier, sleep crawling so much faster, taking over his body. And Luke, holding on to Ashton, let sleep crawl right under his skin and take him down; just like he was letting Ashton.

Later when he woke up, Ashton wasn’t by his side but a few feet away with Daniel on his arms smiling up at him, sleep still gracing his soft features, “Look who just woke up, Danny,” Ashton said, smiling as he turned Daniel to look at Luke’s way. The kid smiled wider mumbling, “ _Woo-ki,_ ” making Ashton giggle as he moved to the bed where Luke was siting.  Luke rubbed the sleep from his eyes, smiling as he acknowledged Daniel, making way for Ashton to sit next to him. “Yes, it’s your idiot of an uncle Lucas,” Ashton teased as he sat by the blond’s side with Daniel on his lap. “You seemed to like this idiot very much, earlier,” Luke said, eyebrows raised, getting a huge dimpled smile out of Ashton.

Danny chuckled turning on Ashton’s lap and prompting himself up as Luke smiled, hands outstretched, ready to hold him as he little kid reached for him with a big smile on his face. Turns out his nephew doesn’t hate him after all. “Well, yeah, it doesn’t mean you’re less of an idiot, though,” Ashton said, sticking his tongue out at him.

“ _Idi-oh_ ,” Danny repeated, poking Luke’s cheek and making Ashton laugh, “yes, Danny, idiot.”

Luke narrowed his eyes at him, “You should tell that to uncle Ash,” he said, speaking to the little kid who repeated “ _ashhh_ ,” pointing at the other boy. But Ashton wasn’t exactly playing attention, instead looking at Luke with an amused look on his face, biting his lip with his eyebrows high on his forehead.

“Uncle Ash?” he questioned, a smile threatening to spread across his face. Luke chuckled before he pulled a face, still holding the little kid.

“We’ll figure it out later?” he offered with a questioning tone to his voice at which Ashton smiled before leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

“We’ll figure it out later.”


End file.
